Damn.

Double damn.

I knew that my somebody was from that world, and they sent me there anyway. Couldn’t complications arise if I saw somebody she knew? What if they recognized my face? I wasn’t stupid. I recalled her memories sometimes, and we look very alike. The only difference was her curls.

“This shouldn’t be that hard. All it is is a giant logic puzzle, right? We just portal there, grab the ball, and portal back.” Mulled Rhaaxs, mumbling to herself and staring into space. She seemed like a nice enough girl, not impolite at all, she just looked a bit emotionless due to her lack of color.

“I think so, Rhaaxs. Come on, guys, lets go. Now.” Xeliama ordered, flicking back her dark blue bangs. She seemed slightly more intimidating than Rhaaxs, but that was probably because of her odd hair and bright eyes.

“Er, guys? I don’t think…” I started, but it was to late. They made their portals and stepped through.

Right back into the room.

“Hey, what the hell?” exclaimed Xeliama, quite disgruntled that she was back where she started. Rhaaxs looked momentarily confused, but started thinking deeply.

“Yeah. You can’t portal there. You can only be wished there, it’s a rule.” I said, biting my lip and chewing it. I knew what was coming next, and they had to figure it out. Somebody had to be wished away, and I was really, really hoping it wasn’t going to be me.

“Well, what are the words?!” growled Xeliama, looking put out.

“You have to wish for the goblins to come and take someone away, this instant, but in different words.”

“Lexiz.”

“Yes?”

“Tell. Me. The words.” She looked very intimidating.

“I can’t do that!”

“Tell me.” She summoned her weapon, which was very bright and hot.

“I wish the goblins would come and take you away, right now.” said Rhaaxs, her voice quiet but strong.

“Rhaaxs, no!”

The shadows in the room twisted, crackled, laughed, and twitched. Red eyes opened and scuttled underneath chairs and tables. The lights went out, and Xeliama found herself gripped all over by claws, dragging her downward into darkness.

The goblins were here.

A laugh echoed throughout the room, startling me and causing Rhaaxs to swing her silvery white head to one side.  I knew she couldn’t see out of one eye, so I grabbed her arm to steady her. The lights popped back on.

The Goblin King was sitting on the sofa, with one leg over the other and a glass of wine in one hand. He had the decency to look surprised when he saw my face.

“Eliz?” he asked, slightly confused, no doubt.

“Nope. Lexiz. Sorry.” I tried to play it off, but he didn’t believe me.  I saw it in his eyes.

“Eliz, you died. In battle. What are you doing here?”

“Look, Kingy, I’m not Eliz. I’m Lexiz. We just want our friend back, and—“

“Now, now, you know how that works, ‘Lexiz’.” he said, his face slipping into a mask of mocking. I’d seen this before. Suddenly, I slipped into a memory that wasn’t mine, forming a bubble in my hand and letting it fill up to the very brim with images.

He saw.

He twitched his fingers and Rhaaxs was gone.

“Where is she!?” I shrieked. I did not know how well she would fare on her own.

“Running the Labyrinth, of course. Standard rule for all wishers. And you are coming with me.” He grabbed my arm.

Our sudden movement was not at all like using the portals of darkness. It was more like a spinning jerk, with a sickening pop when we got to our destination. Unfortunately, our destination was in a throne room with a lot of terrified goblins and one very upset Xeliama.

“What the HELL is going on?!” she screeched. I flinched. The older alien woman scarred me. A lot.

“You were wished away, Rhaaxs is running the Labyrinth by herself, and he thinks I’m my somebody. Any questions?” I stated, deadpan. She turned to me.

“Your somebody lived here?! That’s screwed up!”

The king stared at us like we were quite mad. I looked at him, and summoned my bow and quiver of arrows. The goblins ‘ooohhhed’.

“Look, Goblin King, our Superiors want your balls.”

Wait. What did I just say?

Thank god for Xeliama. She summoned her weapon quickly, and continued, “Er, that is to say, our Superiors are interested in your crystals. They want one for further study.”

He looked at the both of us. The lesser goblins roared with laughter, while the higher up ones moved to protect the king from harm. They were far taller, and far more dangerous looking.

“Why not take hers?” he motioned to me, and the goblins all turned. Many of them blinked, long and slow. The whispers started up.

“Hey, dats dee Lady!”

“No, dats not dee lady. Lady has bouncy curls.”

“I swears it! Its her! Go get the Healer Lady!”

“Nope. You go gets her. She’s nasty mean.”

I didn’t want to know who the Healer Lady was, if the goblins thought she was nasty. I turned to the king.

“Mine aren’t as advanced as yours. You can make stuff, I cant. I can just look at stuff.”

(“Yep, dats dee Lady all right. Talks just like er.” A sniff to the leg. “Smells just like er too.”)

Xeliama nodded, and her weapon shined brightly, as if threatening the King. He smirked, and seemed to make up his mind about something.

“If your friend can beat the Labyrinth in the allotted time, you may return to your castle and take one of my crystals. If not, you stay here and become a goblin. Settled?”

I thought. Xeliama thought. Could Rhaaxs pull it off?

Yes. Yes she could.

We both turned to each other, and nodded. “Deal.”

Eleven hours later, Rhaaxs made it to the castle, with a large silver beast in tow.  The King handed me the crystal, and then a picture. It was my somebody, Eliz, with one arm over the Kings’ shoulder and the other over a reptilian looking girl, and they were all in full armor. Two tiny fairies perched on her head, and a Sphinx stood at their feet, smirking.  I turned it over, and there were two simple words on the back.

‘Good Luck.’

I smiled with a spark of remembered feeling, nodded to him, and was sent home.